YAY MUMMY

OMG AFTER TWO TIRING WEEKS OF CLEANING, WASHING AND SWEEPING, MUMMY IS FINALLY COMING HOME TO TAKE OVER WAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! :D :D

She's arriving at 12am tonight and it's 10.40pm now. I'm so freaking tired coz I finished my 4-page essay for 3 hours and MY SPANISH HOMEWORK for like 2 hours. Ms. Johnson gives us mucha tarea :(. And then Papa and I went to this Singaporean restaurant to eat with Uncle Rahim, Aunt Mei Foong, Akib and Kimmee (she just came from the UK :D). Our last dinner at that restaurant coz it was gonna close coz they couldn't afford to pay the rent (QR 10,000 a month ><)

Came back at 9pm and continued with Spanish. And then had to correct our Spanish script for some performance. Hard to explain ><

My brain is just gonna shut down now. I'm just too freaking exhausted. I don't understand how people can sleep at 3am. GILAH KAH?!

OH YEAH And I have my Precalculus TEST that I have tomorrow which I didn't study for. GRRRR. Hopefully it's not gonna be hard.

Need to read my english book now. It's called Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg. It's a cool lesbo book (not like I'm against homos or anything).

P.S I want to hug a tree :)

emo kimono

I tell my friends that I need a balance of happiness and sadness in my life. That's why I tend to read sad books and watch sad movies. But I haven't drawn for a long time.


Emo angel

Emo crying person

Maybe I should start putting black eyeliner and black nail polish. People get bored of the same happy person. Some changes can help shake things up. :)

EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO EMO... BLAH T.T

addicted

I'm so addicted to Benny Benassi's Come Fly Away. I can listen to it all day long. Feels like I'm on ecstasy lolz

I've come to a conclusion. I think I either like guys who are taken or gay. Well, not exactly GAY but I conclude that guys who have no interest in girls are considered gay. Maybe some guys are just so sick of girls that they just want some time alone. Lucky for you, I ain't one of your bimbos :)

I feel sorry for guys who are followed by a group of excited girls 24/7. I understand how annoying that could be. So I'm doing you a favour by saving you the trouble. You should be appreciative.

Love is such an over-used and meaningless word. Especially when you add "Eternal" in front. ETERNAL LOVE. hah. It's sad how true love doesn't even exist.

P.S Goodnight and goodbye.

droplets of tears

I kinda admire the fact that kids can cry so easily. They don't have to put on a fake mask to cover their true emotions.

I saw a little girl cry today. My heart crumbled and I just wanted to reach out to her. I comforted her until she smiled at me and I smiled too. There was this overwhelming rush that came over me. I didn't notice how much I wanted to cry but I just couldn't. My sadness have been collected over the years and I just wanted to burst into tears. I couldn't do it in front of the poor girl.

The last time I cried was... Jeez, I can't even remember. Probably a few months ago because I was cutting onions(LOLZ) and my real tears was 2 years ago. 2 FREAKING YEARS AGO. Sometimes I feel like I'm in denial. People always see me as this happy person and I doubt myself. I just want to break loose and cry... CRY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I want to feel how it's like to cleanse yourself of all the sadness and depression. I want to really, REALLY CRY.

My heart is as hard as a rock, my Mum says. I hate how I'd always smile eventhough I'm miserable. I want to take my fake mask off and frown. I want to cry when I see a dead carcass at the side of the road or something. I want to cry when I watch a really sad and romantic movie. I want to cry when I see you... Because the look in your eyes hurt me.


I'm so emotionless. I feel like a freaking barbie doll, always showing off her smile.


I should be emo one day. It'd be so fun :)

cam vanity 2

I'm probably one of the "vainest" people you'll ever know... Maybe the second XD


I think that taking pictures is a form of expression. And also something you do when you're bored and happy and have make-up on XD

Gucci should PAY ME for advertising their product :)

punch the doll :D

I was "thinking" of Katy Perry's song

I'm so happy the weekend is here. I can finally get some proper rest.

I'm sorry if my pictures disturbed your innocent mind. Please understand that DOHA is so boring, the only possible FUN are internet and camwhoring :)

Yeah, studying is fun when you get good grades too :D

P.S MUMMY will go to U.S and mak JIEJIE fat :D :D

busy bee

It's good to keep yourself busy. Your mind just leaves the confusion aside.

I can't sleep again. I've been listening to classical but still can't sleep. I'm getting nightmares again.


I'm still a child. I'm still afraid of what's under my bed and the darkness. I'm still afraid of looking twice at the mirror, fearing something would appear behind me. I'm still afraid of staring at the ceiling when it's all dark and quiet.

I don't tell my Dad about my nightmares coz he thinks it's stupid XD. My dad is such a straight forward person and he'll probably force me to sleep early. lolz


It's really creepy how you have a dream and it continues the next night and the next and the next. Like never-ending episodes. Freaky.

For some reason, I feel so anxious. Anxious to know something but I just haven't really figured out what it is. It's definitely not my results because I've not taken any tests this week... But what is it?...

I'm so tired of thinking. I just wanna switch off.

mummy is gone :(

Marmie left a few days ago to London :( I'm so lonely now.

I actually underestimated the amount of work that I needed to do. Yesterday was the first day I did all the cleaning, washing and cooking, PLUS finishing my homework. I was so tired that I didn't even study for my Bio quiz that I just flunked XD

Papa has been trying to help but I know he's tired. He goes to work 6 days a week from 5am to 6pm and I know he's exhausted by the time he comes home. So I have to remind myself to cook at 5pm so that dinner will be ready when he comes back. HAHA NO I DON'T COOK :P My mum just packed everything in the fridge BUT I still need to take them out to fry and grill or something. We don't eat raw meat of course :P


I miss Marmie so much already :( She's going to Illinois after London to see Jiejie to CHECK ON HER. HE HE

It's not nice to come home to an empty apartment. Especially when lunch isn't ready. GRR I have to come home and cook my own lunch. I guess this is what uni life is like lolz. I washed the clothes and washed the dishes and finally I have time for myself. :D :D


I hate the silence. I need someone to talk to. I'M FEELING LONELY NOW :( I have Papa but he only comes back so late. Times like these I just play the piano. It's my companion :D :D


P.S I don't want to waste my time thinking about things that would make me feel worse.

Dinner at The Sharq

Had a holiday yesterday because of parent-teacher meeting but I managed to PERSUADE my parents not to go :D :D They were busy anyway, especially Marmie who's going away this Saturday to the UK and to Illinois. :( Me so sad!

So anyway, we had this function for Papa's friend who's leaving Doha and we celebrated in this 7 star hotel called The Sharq. It's one of the most beautiful hotels I've ever seen but of course the food does not live up to the standard (sadly) :(. They should hire some Gordon Ramsay trained chefs to come over. I didn't eat much in the buffet coz the food was kinda sarky XD

I sat with Marwa and Star(awesome name for a Malay :D), my Dad's colleagues' daughters. They're really cool and amazing how mature they look despite their age *cough*14*cough* They're even taller than me T.T

We ate Arab food. The main course was kinda dry. The grilled stuff. I think Asian people aren't meant to eat Arab food XD

I think MY main course was the dessert WEHEHE

While the adults were talking about their boring stuff(politics, weather...) we had a stroll outside, near the pool. I can't explain how extraordinary it is. It's a really WIDE area with people smoking shisha around XD

You can't really see it but it's so OMG... There's like sparkling lights beneath the pool.

I told them I wanna have my honeymoon there if I don't find a nicer hotel XD

Set the timer and snapped some shots :D

We got back just in time to see the Birthday Boy get his awesome cake :D

ME AND MARMIE :D My neck looks so short here XD

WAAAAAHHHH

We walked around the hotel and saw a lonely baby grand. It was so lonely I had to play it! (despite the NOISY BAR)

Came home quite early. So I decided to camwhore :D

I sat with Marwa and Star at the Lounge. They were both doing their talking and I was thinking about you. As my eyes averted to the stairs at the corner... I saw you. My heart started beating fast. Was I dreaming? I think you saw me too but you didn't wave or smile. You left with your friends and I snapped out of the transition. Why do you always appear when I'm thinking of you? GRRR GO AWAY.

P.S Donde esta tu? Tiene un corazon pero no lo usa.

the roundabout

Round and round the roundabout I go,
Passing the stars, waving hello,
The droll angels and the whimsical rainbow,
My smile fades as my tears flow.


What is this world of bewilderment?
The eyes of the young filled with excitement,
Circus, circus, an amazing event,
Wait for me till I descend.

Talks of banter and aura of mirth,
Bring the laugher to the earth.

Enamored kisses and evanescent wonders,
Erase the vicious and perennial thunders,
Forgive the sycophants, the doomed lovers,
Affinity and repose will soon be uncovered...

Love,

your ephemeral spark

Spirit Week

SRIRIT WEEK WAS AWESOME :)


so basically it's a week of dress-ups.
Monday: NERD DAYY 8-)
Tuesday: HIPPYYY~~~
Wednesday: GREEEN DAY
Thursday: SCHOOL COLORS XD


Credits to Sheila and her awesome photoshop skills :D Took this on Nerd Day... My friends were disappointed that I didn't really exaggerate my "NERD-NESS." I just wore my glasses and my polo shirt lol I'm a nerd everyday anyway :D I'M ORIGINALLL!


I took more pictures on Hippy Day coz I remembered to bring my cam XD

Katja the colourful :D

lol Abdullah looks like Jesus

OMG haha I wore my marmie's clothes HEAD TO TOE. I borrowed her necklace, her top, her bell bottoms and her shoes! My mum was so excited that she woke up extra early that morning to curl my hair :D HAHA I LOVE MY MUM

HIPPIESSS~

Adam doin' his thaaanng :D

my bio teacher is so AWESOME that she dressed up too! she looks so different with the wig XD

the 70s' show

RIIIINNNN <3>

My school looked so nice so I snapped a shot :)

korean and kazakh :D

Sorry I dont have anymore pictures :( I forgot to bring my camera lolz.

I LOVE DRESS-UPS :D

buttons

I studied since 11am today but had a break in between to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.


IT'S SO SAD. I almost cried. I'm sure most of you probably know a bit about it... about how the old man ages backwards. It's really romantic in a weird way. I HATE SAD MOVIES but love sad books. At least in sad books, the feeling is kinda gradual unlike a sad movie which is like a slap in the face :(

You know what I hate more? I HATE ROMANTIC MOVIES. I've never watched P.S I Love You and won't ever! THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL SAD AND LONELY :(


Tomorrow is NERD DAY but I don't think I'm gonna dress up. I already look like one anyway
8-)


P.S Why did God create men?... WHY DIDN'T HE MAKE THEM PERFECT?! sob